Watching AVPM
by AVPMforever
Summary: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Draco find a mysterious package one Christmas. What could the DVD labelled "A Very Potter Musical" be, and what does it have to do with them?
1. Chapter 1

**Watching AVPM**

**So, this is a story that I've been toying with for a while, basically it will be the Harry Potter characters watching A Very Potter Musical, and then, A Very Potter Sequel. I won't be doing Senior Year, mainly because I didn't like it that much. (please don't hate me!) I strongly suggest that you watch the musicals before reading this fic. Who knows, if I like doing these reaction stories I might continue with a characters read the books fic... Anyways this authour's note has gone on long enough, enjoy the story!**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Starkid, nor do I own Harry Potter.

Harry, Hermione and Ron climbed up the spiral staircase after finishing a delicious breakfast in the Great Hall. It was the middle of Christmas Break and they had the castle almost to themselves. The Gryffindor common room was empty except for a handful of third years and Ginny Weasley. Some Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs had stayed for the break, but the trio did not know any of them well. In fact the only other person in their yearwho had stayed was Draco Malfoy.

The three walked in lazily giving Ginny a quick greeting before collapsing into the armchairs in front of the fire. As Harry and Hermione sunk in happily, Ron jumped up with a yell. Out of their chairs in a flash, Ron was quickly surrounded by his friends and sister.

"Oi, what's that?"

"Oh Ron, it's just a package you baby." teased Ginny.

Harry smirked at Ron as his face went red.

"Well, what's inside it?"asked Hermione, getting right to the point.

"Only one way to find out." And with that, Harry ripped open the plain brown package, and revealed the contents inside. Sitting in the box was a large screen, a DVD player, and two discs.

"What the bloody hell is that junk?" Asked Ron, with Ginny Sharing an equally confused face.

"Why, it's a whole bunch of muggle equipment!" said Hermione, examining the box's contents with interest. This seems to be some sort of television screen, and this DVD player hooks up to it. I wonder what's on the discs?" She said reaching for the case.

"Hold on a sec, what on earth is a teliebision and a BVD?" Demanded Ron, grabbing her hand before she could reach the case.

Giving an exasperated sigh, Hermione looked up and explained to the two purebloods what a DVD and television were.

"So, they're kind of like portraits that do the same thing, over and over?" Asked Ginny.

"Kind of.." Replied Harry, "except you can choose what it is that happens oN them, even if it isn't possible in real life. Each disc tells a story.

"Okay..." Said Ron, "so what story does that disc tell?"

Opening the Lid of the case, the teenagers found a white disc labeled "A Very Potter Musical" Underneath the title it said:

Starring:

Darren Criss As Harry Potter

Joey Richter As Ron Weasley

Bonnie Gruesen As Hermione Granger

with

Jamie Lynn Beatty As Ginny Weasley

Lauren Lopez As Draco Malfoy

They all stared at the strange disc, looks confusion and excitement crossing their faces.

"You've got to be kidding me, is this a... a musical about your life?" Said Ron.

"It says your name too!" Replied Harry, blushing.

"It says all of our names." Said Ginny

"Who could have made this? It screams muggle, and yet what muggle knows about us? You don't suppose it's Dudley, do you Harry?"

"Definitely not, he doesn't know a thing about my life, and even if he did want to make it, he does 't have a creative bone in his fat body."

"Who cares who made it, let's watch it! I want to see what this Joey Ritcher looks like!"

Hermione then opened the second case, but found a blank disc inside.

"That must be a back up or something, now can you set up the telibision or not, because I want to watch a Potter musical!

"Well, I should be able to get it set up, if I transfigure an outlet somewhere..." Hermione said.

And over the next hour and a half Hermione worked on getting the television set up. After transfiguring the plug, she realized that the screen itself would need some tweaking in order to work in a magical environment. Finally, after a lot of mumbling and spells a working television was in the Gryffindor Common Room. It had gotten some strange looks from the Third Years,but eventually they had just gone off to the library, leaving the four Gryffindors alone.

"I thinks it's ready!" Said an exhausted Hermione. Setting up a simple television had been harder than she had thought it would be.

"Finally! You took long enough!" Said Ron, completely abandoning the chess game he and Harry where playing.

"Well Ronald, if you would like me to dismantle it and let _you _attempt to set up, keep talking." Shot back Hermione, giving him a glare.

"Oh shut up you two, let's watch it already! I have to admit, I'm excited to see what other people think my life would look like as a musical."

" I wonder what part of your life they'll show." Said Ginny, as they all sat down in front of the screen. Secretly she was hoping it was anything but Harry's second year. The basilisk incident was not one she wanted to be reminded of.

Hermione leaned down and pushed the disk into the DVD player. The whole group was holding their breath in anticipation. The screen flashed on, and then went black.

"What happened?"

"I'm not sure, I set everything up correctly."

"What a bummer, stupid muggle rubbish."

Harry was the first to break out of the disappointed trance. "Look, we can try again later, but we may as well have some dinner before the great hall closes."

At the mention of food, Ron and Ginny quickly followed Harry out of the room. Hermione slowly stood up and took the disc back out of the player. She slowly started out towards the Great Hall, examining the disc as she walked. As she walked past the stairs that led up from the Slytherin Dorms she managed to walk straight into Draco Malfoy.

"Hey! Watch it you filthy mudblood." He snapped glaring down at her. His eyes then traveled to the disc in her hands and his name on it. Snatching it from her grasp he said "What's this Granger, a love note?"

"Give that back Malfoy, it doesn't even work-" but just as Hermione was finishing her sentence a note appeared on top of the disc. It unfurled itself and a British girl's voice came out.

To Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Draco

_If you are getting this note, that means that each of you have come in contact with the disc. You see, I am from a parallel world, where Harry Potter's life is a famous book and movie series. So famous, that a group of college actors created a parody musical about it. Now I am currently working on a Dimension Cannon to allow me to travel between parallel worlds, I won't get in to why, and I needed to test it on an inanimate object. If my package made it successfully through the void, than the first disc titled "A Very Potter Musical" should now be activated. You five are to watch first this musical, and than a sequel to it which you will find on the second disc. That disc will unlock once you are finished the first musical. Now I understand that some of you, particularly Draco, may not want to watch them, but I've put a time lock on the discs and once the first disc is activated, time will not progress at Hogwarts until both musicals have been watched, and believe me I know how time works. Though the first disc is now activated, it will not play unless all five of you are in the room. Good luck, and have fun watching the shows. This won't be the last time you here from me,_

_Rose_

The note then folded itself up and landed in Draco's hand. The two looked at each other before running down the stairs to find Harry, Ron and Ginny. The three of them were just leaving the great hall, a worried look on all of their faces.

"Hermione, it was so weird, we were eating dinner when all of a sudden all the professors froze. we couldn't seem to break the spell, even Dumbledore's under it!"

Hermione just handed the three of them the note. After reading quickly Harry looked up, a mixture of excitement and fear on his face,

"Well, I guess we've got some musicals to watch."

**There's the intro, I hope you guys liked it. Act I Part I should be coming soon! I know I changed the sixth book a little, so in my version they are staying at Hogwarts for christmas. Oh, did anyone catch my other fandom reference? Shout out in the next chapter if you can name it! **


	2. Act I Part I

**Act I Part I **

**Next chapter! This is the first one where they watch the musical! I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed, and favourited the story! And a special shout out to Guest (sorry you didn't leave a name) for getting the Doctor Who reference!**

The five students started up the staircase from the hall, the four Gryffindors staying as far away from Malfoy as they could get. As they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady Malfoy stopped dead.

"Wait a second, you didn't tell me we were going to the _Gryffindor_ common room!"

"Just shut up Malfoy! Whoever that Rose is, she must be powerful, even Dumbledore was under her spell. Why, such advanced control over time is unheard of in this world, she must be brilliant. I bet it would be amazing to meet her..."

"Hermione! She froze time, just so we could watch a musical!"

"C'mon Harry, you've got to admit that's pretty badass."

"Ron!"

"Can't we just watch the bloody musical, instead of standing here bickering about it?"

And with that, Malfoy walked straight into the Gryffindor common room, with the other four trailing behind him.

Hermione took the disc back from Malfoy, examined it quickly, and then put it into the slot. The television flashed again, but this time, instead of going black, the Starkid logo appeared on the screen.

"Starkid, interesting name." Said Ginny.

The video paused as soon as she started talking.

"Hmmmm, that's funny." said Hermione, "It seems to pause automatically when we start talking..."

"Well why don't you shut up, so it will start again. "

"Oi! Watch it Malfoy!"

**The screen opens to a boy sitting on a suitcase, a spotlight aimed at him.**

"Haha, is that you, Potter?"

"That actually does look kind of like you Harry."

"No it doesn't!"

"It sorta does mate, gangly git with messy hair."

"Oh, shut it."

**HARRY:**

**Underneath these stairs  
I hear the sneers and feel glares of  
my cousin, my uncle and my aunt.**

**"**I'm... Singing!"

"Well it is a musical.."

"I know, but I never expected it to be me who was actually... Oh whatever."

"You have a nice voice Harry."

"Thanks Ginny" said Harry, blushing.

"Now what's this about you being under stairs?"

"We've been over this Hermione, they stopped doing that years ago." Replied Harry, a little embarrassed that Malfoy had heard about his relatives.

**Can't believe how cruel they are**  
**and it stings my lighting scar**  
**to know that they'll never ever give me what I want.**

**I know I don't deserve these**  
**stupid rules made by the Dursleys**  
**here on Privet drive.**

**Can't take all of these muggles,**  
**but despite all of my struggles,**  
**I'm still alive.**

**"**Over reacting much Potter?"

" For your information Malfoy, Harry's life has been threatened at least once each year that he's been at Hogwarts, so it is nice that he's alive."

Malfoy just mumbled a "Well it's not nice for everyone..."

**I'm sick of summer and this waiting around.**  
**Man, its September, and I'm skipping this town**  
**Hey it's no mystery, there's nothing here for me now**

**I gotta get back to Hogwarts,**  
**I gotta get back to school.**  
**Gotta get myself to Hogwarts,**  
**where everybody knows I'm cool.**

**"**So obviously this is 't your first year at Hogwarts, if your going back."**  
**

"Who cares what the song's telling us Hermione, it's catchy!"

**Back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts,**  
**to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts.**  
**It's all that I love, and it's all that I need.**  
**HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS, I think I'm going back-**

**I'll see my friends, gonna laugh 'til we cry**  
**take my Firebolt, gonna take to the sky**  
**NO WAY this year anyone's gonna die, and it's gonna be totally awesome**

**"**Well that line was kind of depressing..."

**I'll cast some spells, with a flick of my wand**  
**defeat the dark arts, yeah bring it on!**  
**and do it all with my best friend Ron, **

**"**Hey, that's me! You mentioned me! I hope I come in soon!

"Calm down Weasel head, I'm sure you'll look just as pathetic as Potter."

**'cuz together we're totally awesome**

**RON: yeah, and it's gonna be totally awesome!**

"OH BLOODY HELL, THAT'S ME! I'M SO COOL AND TALL AND WAIT A SECOND... AM I WEARING A WIG?"

"Hah, there's probably no one else in the world with hair naturally as red as yours."

**RON: Did somebody say Ron Weasley? WOO! What's up buddy?**

**HARRY: Hey! How you doin?**

**RON: Hey! Sorry it took so long for me to get here I had to get some uh... flu powder but uh we gotta get goin come get your trunk come on let's go!**

**HARRY: Where are we going?**

**RON: To Diagon Ally of course!**

**HARRY: Cool!**

**RON: Come on!**

**RON & HARRY:**

** Flu powder power! Flu powder power! Flu powder power!**

**"**Seriously you two?"

"Look Hermione, it's not actually us!"

"But I am so doing that the next time I use floo!"

**RON:  
It's been so long, but we're going back  
don't go for work, don't go there for class**

**HARRY:  
As long as were together-**

**RON:  
- gonna kick some ass**

**HARRY & RON:  
... and its gonna be totally awesome!  
This year we'll take everybody by storm,  
stay up all night, sneak out of our dorm**

**HERMIONE:  
but let's not forget that we need to perform well in class  
if we want to pass our OWLS!**

"Look Hermione, it's you!"

"I can see that Ron, but what on earth is happening with my hair?"

"You're right Granger, it's a lot smaller than usual."

**RON: God Hermione why do you have to be such a buzz kill?**

**"**Mean Ron!"

"Well you are kinda a buzzkill sometimes Hermione..."

"If you call making the sensible decision being a buzzkill... We would all be dead right now if I wasn't a "buzzkill"

**HERMIONE: Because Ron! School's not all about having fun; we need to study hard if we want to be good witches and wizards!**

**HERMIONE:  
I may be frumpy, but I'm super smart**

**"**I'm not frumpy!" said Hermione, looking scandalized at the musicals depiction of her.  
**check out my grades, they're "A's" for a start**

"Not so smart as we pretend to be, eh Granger? You can only manage Acceptable's?"

"This was made by muggles! In the muggle school system an A is the highest you can get!"

**what I lack in looks well I make up in heart,**

Hermione didn't even bother to make a comment, but she was staring daggers at the musical's depiction of herself.

**and well guys, yeah, that's totally awesome**

**this year I plan to study a lot...**

**RON:  
that would be cool if you were actually hot**

**HARRY:  
hey Ron, come on, we're the only friends that she's got!**

**"**You guys!" Said Hermione looking hurt. "This whole musical is one big joke about me."

"A whole musical of you two idiots insulting Granger, I'm going to enjoy this."

Ginny just glared at Malfoy before moving over to comfort Hermione.

**RON:  
and that's cool...**

**HERMIONE:  
... and that's totally awesome**

**HARRY, RON, HERMIONE**:  
**yeah it's so cool, and it's totally awesome!**

**we're sick of summer and this waiting around  
it's like we're sitting in the lost and found  
don't take no sorcery  
for anyone to see how...**

**we gotta get back to Hogwarts  
we gotta get back to school  
we gotta get back to Hogwarts  
where everything is magic-cooooool**

**EVERYONE:  
back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts  
to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts  
it's all that I love, and it's all that I need at  
HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS**

**HARRY, RON, HERMIONE:  
- I think we're going back..**

"Well, that's Act I Part I done"

"I'm not sure if I liked that very much."

"Oh, come on Hermione, I'm sure they'll stop picking on you."

"Don't you guys find it weird having someone else pretend to be you?"

"Well I still haven't seen myself."

"Well let's start the next part, you'll come in sometime or other."

**There you go! I hope you guys liked the first watching the musical part. Please leave a review and tell me what you think, they make my day!**


	3. Act I Part II

** Chapter number 3! Schools been slow recently so I've been able to update often, but don't expect this all the time! Thanks so much for all the reviews, follows and favourites! Please keep them coming. I love reading your feedback!**

**Chapter 3: Act I Part II**

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Starkid or Harry Potter

The screen flashed and the next part started.

**GINNY: Ron! You were supposed to take me to Madame Malkins and use those sickles mum gave you for my robe fittings!**

"Oh my god, I'm a complete idiot."

"I'll never disagree with that, Weasley."

"You're not so bad Ginny, at least you haven't sung yet."

"Hey, singing's cool!"

"Sure it is Ron..."

"Haha, you do have a wig though!"

**HARRY: Uh... who's this?**

**RON: This is stupid little dumb sister Ginny she's a freshman. Ginny this is Harry, Harry Potter, it's Harry Potter**

** "**Oh, so it must be our second year then!" Said Hermione.

Oh great, thought Ginny. A musical about me looking stupid and having Voldemort control me."

**GINNY: Oh, you're Harry Potter. You're the boy who lived**

**HARRY: Yes, and you're Ginny**

**GINNY: It's Ginevra**

"Oh, so that's what Ginny is short for!"

"Don't you dare call me that Harry..."

"Didn't think there was a name more stupid than Weasley in the world. Guess I was wrong!"

"Just shut up Malfoy!" Said Ginny, looking embarrassed.

**HARRY: Cool, Ginny's fine**

**RON: Stupid sister!**

**GINNY: Aaah!**

**" **What on earth was that?"

"I'm not quite sure, maybe it was supposed to be a slap..."

"if it was, you're dead Ron."

**RON: Don't crowd the famous friend!**

**HERMIONE: Do you guys here music or something?**

**HARRY: Music? What are you talking about?**

**RON: Yah someone's coming**

**HARRY: Someone is coming**

**LAVENDER, CHO, PANZY:  
Cho Chang! Domo arigato  
Cho Chang! Gung Hey Fat Choy, Chang  
Happy, Happy New Year Cho Chang**

** "**Wow... Let's watch that part again."

"Ron!" Said Ginny and Hermione in unison.

**GINNY: Who's that?**

**HARRY: That's Cho Chang**

**RON: That's the girl Harry's totally been in love with since freshman year**

**"**Really Harry, all the way since First Year?"

"No! I didn't even know her name until Third Year, and then she was just the Ravenclaw Quidditch player for most of it."

"They must have changed that around to make it work with you being in Second Year."

**HERMIONE: Yah but he won't say anything to her**

**RON: Well yah you never tell that you like her it makes you look like an idiot**

Harry and Ron nodded in agreement with this statement, and even Draco gave an imperceptible nod of the head.

**GINNY: Um konichiwa Cho Chang it is good to meet you my name is Ginny Weasley**

** "**That's racist Ginny!"

"That's not actually me Hermione!"

**LAVENDER: Bitch I aint Cho Chang!**

Confused looks passed over all of their faces.

**RON: That's Lavender Brown! Racist sister!**

All the boys started laughing, but Hermione just looked indignant, and Ginny a little embarrassed.

**GINNY: Aaah!**

**CHO: It's all right I'm Cho Chang ya'll**

**"**That looks nothing like Cho!"

"Don't complain Harry, she's hotter."

"RON"

**HARRY: She is totally perfect!**

**RON: Yah too bad she's dating Cedric Diggery though**

"This is just confusing. They didn't start dating until Fourth Year."

"Maybe the musical's a mixture of more than one of your years."

Ginny gave a silent prayer that this was true.

**HARRY: What! Who the hell is Cedric Diggery? What is that? Who the hell is that?**

**CEDRIC:  
Oh, Cho Chang  
I am so in love with Cho Chang  
From Bangkok to Ding Dang  
I sing my love aloud for Cho Chang**

**HARRY: I hate that guy! I hate him**

**"**Don't say that Harry!" Said Harry, looking sad at the mention of Cedric.

**RON: So are we gonna get those robes or not?**

**GINNY: Ok, alright I'm goin!**

**RON: God sister!**

**Everyone walks. NEVILLE and GOYLE, CRAB enter from opposite sides and bump into each other**

** "**Who do you guys think those three are?"

"I bet the nerdy looking one is Neville!"

"And the other two?"

"Those must be Crabbe and Goyle."

Everyone turned in surprise to look at Malfoy, who hadn't really joined the conversation much other then to insult them.

**GOYLE: Present your arm nerd!**

**NEVILLE: W-what are you?**

**GOYLE: Indian burn hex!**

**NEVILLE: Aaah!**

Harry and Hermione laughed at the muggle reference, but everyone else looked kind of confused. Malfoy just seemed happy his minions were hurting someone else.

**RON: Oh. Crab and Goyle**

"Ah hah, I was right!"

**HERMIONE: Are you ok?**

**HARRY: Hey why don't you leave Neville alone huh?**

**" **But so was I!" Countered Ron.

**GOYLE: Well, well, well if it isn't Harry Potter. You think all because you're famous you can boss everyone around**

"That's not true!"

**HARRY: No I just don't think it's cool for guys of your size picking on guys like Neville, come on?**

**GOYLE: Oh well you know what I think? I think glasses are for nerds! We hate nerds**

**CRAB: And girls!**

**" **But isn't that actor a girl?"

"I think that's the point Ron."

**HARRY: Oh my glasses**

**RON: You asked for it. You don't mess with Harry Potter he defeated the Dark Lord when he was a baby**

" Are you hiding behind the mudblood, Weasley?"

"Don't call her that!" Shot back everyone else in the room.

**HERMIONE: Alright everyone just calm down. Occulus reparo!**

**HARRY: Woo, cool!**

"Seriously Harry?"

**HERMIONE: Now let's leave these big baby childish jerks alone!**

**DRACO: Did someone say Draco Malfoy?**

Everyone burst out laughing, unable to contain their joy at how stupid Draco's character was.

"Oh. My. God. You're played by a girl Malfoy!"

"She's even wearing earrings!"

"Look how short you are, I could step on you!"

"Haha, who's got the embarrassing character now?"

Draco's face had turned a deep shade of red, and he looked away from the musical in disgust.

**HARRY: What do you want Draco?**

**DRACO: Crab, Goyle! Be a pair of turtle doves **

"Did you just call them turtledoves!"

"Be quit Potter!"

**and go pay for my robes will you? So Potter! Back for another year at Hogwarts are you? Maybe this year you'll wise up and hang out with a higher caliber wizard**

**HARRY: Ok listen malfoy Ron and Hermione are my best friends in the whole world I wouldn't trade them for anything**

Ron and Hermione smiled appreciatively at this.

"That was nice Harry."

**DRACO: Have it your way. Wait! Don't tell me, red hair, hand-me-down robes and a stupid complexion, you must be a Weasley**

** "**That's the description of all of you all right."

Everyone just ignored Malfoy, they were all still caught up in the fact he was played by a girl.

**RON: Oh my god lay off Malfoy ok she may be a pain in the ass ok but she's my pain in the ass**

**DRACO: Well isn't this cute it's like a little loser family, Hogwarts has really gone to the dogs. Luckily next year I'll be transferred to Pigfarts!**

** "**What the hell is Pigfarts."

"It sounds like the thing you are Malfoy..."

"How should I know what the stupid thing is, this whole musical's pathetic."

**This year you bet gonna get outta here  
the rain of Malfoy is finally here  
I'll have the greatest wizard career  
It's gonna be totally awesome!**

**Look out world for the dawn of the day  
when everyone will do WHAT EVER I SAY!  
And Potter won't be in my way  
and then I'll be the one who's totally awesome!**

**CRAB & GOYLE: Yer you'll be the one who's totally awesome!**

**ALL: WOOOOO!**

**HERMIONE: Guys come on we're gonna miss the train!**

**ALL:**

**Who knows how fast this year's gonna go**

**Hand me a glass let the Butter Bears flow**

**HARRY:**

**Maybe at last I'll talk to Cho!**

**RON:**

**Oh no that'd be way to awesome**

**ALL:**

**We're back to learn everything that we can**

**It's great to come back to where we began**

**And here we are and alcazam!**

"That's not even a real spell!" Said Hermione, but everyone ignored her.

**Here we go this is totally awesome**

**Come on and teach us everything you know**

**The summer's over and we're itching to go**

**NEVIL: I've been waiting for: Albus Dumbledore!**

** "**No..."

"Yes it is! We'll vet to see Dumbledore!"

**ALL:**

**Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!**

**DUMBLEDORE:**

**Welco-me all of you to Hogwarts**

Everyone burst out laughing at Dumbledore's fake beard and purple robes.

"If Dumbledore ever sees this..."

**I welcome all of you to school**

**Did you know that here at Hogwarts?**

**We've got a hidden swimming pool**

**Welcome, welcome, welcome Hogwarts**

**Welcome hotties nerds and tools!**

**Now that I've got you here at Hogwarts**

**I'd like to over just a couple of rules. My name is Albus Dumbledore and I am head master of Hogwarts. You can all call me... Dumbledore. I supposed you could also call me Albus if you want a detention no I'm just kidding; I'll expel you if you call me Albus**

** "**I really don't think he's allowed to do that."

"He wouldn't either way." Replied Harry confidently.

**ALL:  
Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts  
To goblins and ghosts it's a magical feast  
It's all that I love and it's all that I need  
At Hogwarts, Hogwarts**

**Back to spells and enchantments, potions and friends  
To Gryffindor! **

The four Gryffindors cheered at this.

**Hufflepuff! Ravenclaw! Slytherin!  
Back to the place where our story begins at  
Hogwarts, Hogwarts**

**DUMBLEDORE:  
I'm sorry what'd ya say?**

**ALL:  
Hogwarts, Hogwarts**

**DUMBLEDORE:  
I didn't hear you kids!**

**ALL:  
Hogwarts, Hogwarts**

**HARRY:  
Man I'm glad I'm back!**

"That was a nice part"

"Haha, Malfoy is a girl!" Repeated Ron for the umpteenth time.


	4. Act I Part III

**Hi everyone, I'm back! Thanks for all the follows and favourites with the last chapter, but I didn't get any reviews! :( Please take the time to leave a review, it makes me happy. In this chapter I got the script from a different website, so the format may seem a little different. **

**Act I Part III**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Starkid or Harry Potter**

**The students take seats on the benches, with Gryffindors on stage right and everybody else on stage left. Ron is eating in almost every scene, and in this one he's eating some kind of noodle dish in Styrofoam. **

"Why are you eating take-out Ron? What happened to the feast in the great hall? WAIT! How did you even get take out in Hogwarts?"

"How should I know Harry? I've never had takeout before in my life."

"It's obviously a joke about how much you eat Weasley."

**Dumbledore****: Welcome to another magical year at Hogwarts! And a very special welcome to my favorite student, Mr. Harry Potter. **

"Oh, what a surprise! Potter is Dumbledore's favourite!"

"Dumbledore would never say that Malfoy!"

**He killed Voldemort when he was just a baby. He's even got that little lightning scar on his forehead to prove it. And another very special welcome to our newest addition to Gryffindor, Mr. Ginny -'scuse me- Ms. Ginny Weasley.**

"WHAT? I don't even understand that! I look nothing like a boy!"

"Uh, I think he meant that all the other Weasleys at Hogwarts were boys, so he just figured you would be one.."

"Leave it to Hermione to come up with the logical answer."

**Ginny****: (stands up) Um, yeah, I'm a girl, and, um, also, aren't we supposed to be sorted by the Sorting Hat? (Sits down)**

"They didn't get sorted? How is that possible? Hogwarts doesn't work without the sorting hat!"

**Dumbledore****: Uh, a funny thing happened to the Sorting Hat. He actually got hitched with another piece of enchanted magical clothing. **

"WHAT?" chorused everyone.

'Can magical clothing even get married?" asked looking to Hermione.

"I've never heard of a case where they have wanted to. There are so few pieces of magical clothing they don't really see each other..."

**Basically I've just been putting anyone who looks like a good guy into Gryffindor, anyone who looks like a bad guy into Slytherin and the other two can just go wherever the hell they want, I don't really care.**

" That's barbaric! Just because a house is known for one character trait doesn't mean that everyone who goes to it has that trait! And not only that, but he's just judging people on how they look, AND completely disrespecting Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff!" screamed Hermione, her voice getting shriller by the second.

"Calm down Granger, it's just a parody! That was meant as a joke..."

Hermione looked like she wanted to keep talking, but didn't say anything.

**Cedric****: (stands up) Hufflepuff are particularly good finders!**  
**Dumbledore****: What the hell is a Hufflepuff? **

"Hufflepuffs are the students of the house of Helga Hufflepuff. They are know for their loyalty, kindness..."

"Hermione, it was a rhetorical question!"

"Well, it was one I think this musical needs to learn the answer to!"

Harry just looked at Cedric sadly and nodded his head.

**_Cedric smiles awkwardly for a moment then sits down. _**  
**Dumbledore:**** Anyways, it is time now for me to introduce my very good friend and our own Potions professor, Mr. Severus Snape.**

"Uh oh, here comes trouble."

"I wonder if he'll sing?" asked Ron

"Ugh, can you imagine a singing Snape?"

"I think my ears would break!"

**Ron****: Aw, Snape? I'd hoped they'd fired that guy!**

"Fat chance Weasley!"  
**Ginny****: What's wrong with Professor Snape?**  
**Ron****: Uh, nothing, he's just, uh, evil! **  
**_Severus Snape enters. _**

"LOOK AT HIM! WHAT's UP WITH HIS EYES? THAT SHOULD BE REAL SNAPE!" yelled Ron between his laughing.

The other three Gryffindors were also in hysterics, the on screen Snape being so ridiculous. Even Malfoy was trying not to laugh.

**Harry****: C'mon, Ron, he's really not that bad. I mean-**  
**Professor Severus Snape****: Harry Potter! Detention!**  
**Harry****: (Stands up) What?**  
**Snape****: For talking out of turn!**

"The worst part is that Snape would totally do that."

**_Harry sits back down. _**  
**Snape:**** Now, before we begin, I'm going to give you all your very, very first pop quiz. **  
**_Everybody groans, except for Hermione, who cheers. _**

"Seriously Hermione?"

"Quizzes can be fun sometimes!" she said defensively.

**Hermione****: Yes!**  
**Snape****: Can anyone tell me what a portkey is?**  
**Hermione****: Oo! (She raises her hand)**

"Of course it's her." muttered Ron.

**Snape****: Yes, Ms. Granger.**  
**Hermione****: A portkey is an enchanted object that when touched will transport the one or ones who touch it to anywhere on the globe decided upon by the enchanter.**

"Okay, even I don't answer that fast."

Everyone just remained silent and tried not to make eye contact with her.

"Ugh, you guys are impossible."

**Snape****: Very good! Now can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is? **  
**_Hermione raises her hand again. _**  
**Snape****: Yes, Ms. Granger.**  
**Hermione****: Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned earlier in the story to return later in a more significant way.**

"Hmmm, if the foreshadowing was the portkey information, then does that mean that a portkey will come up later in the musical? Maybe this will show the story of your Fourth Year Harry!"

Harry just grimaced at the thought of having to relive that awful year.

**Snape****: Perfect!**  
**Ron****: What's a portkey again? I missed that one.**  
**Hermione****: A portkey is something that when you touch it it'll transport you anywhere.**  
**Ron: (Over Hermione) Not you! Ah, never mind.**

"Say that again Ron, and I won't answer a question for you ever again! Including the ones on your homework!"

**Snape****: And remember, a portkey can be any sort of seemingly harmless object, like, a football, or a dolphin!**  
**Lavender****: Professor?**  
**Snape****: Yes?**  
**Lavender****: Can, like, a person be a portkey?**  
**Snape****: No, that's absurd. 'Cause then if that person we're to touch themselves, (looks meaningfully at Ron)**

"Ewwwww" everyone chorused

"Well, I _was _liking this Snape better..."

**they would constantly be transported into different places. A person can, however, be a horcrux.**

The Golden Trio paled slightly at this and shared looks with each other, while everyone else just looked confused.

**Harry****: What's a- What's a horcrux?**  
**Snape****: I'm not even going to tell you Harry, you'll find out soon enough.**  
**Hermione****: Professor, what is the point of this quiz?**  
**Snape****: Oh, no, no point in particular. Just important information that everyone should know. (he points into the audience) Especially you! **

"That's breaking the fourth wall!"

"The what?"

"Oh never mind Ron."

**Now, moving right along, there are four houses in all. Gryffindor (there're cheers from stage right), Ravenclaw (a few cheers from stage left), Hufflepuff-**  
**Cedric****: Find!**  
**Snape****: What? And Slytherin (Goyle does a snake movement with his arms while the other Slytherins hiss).**

'Seriously Malfoy? That's actually really pathetic!"

**Traditionally points are given for good behavior and deducted for rule breaking. For example, ten points from Gryffindor! (Confused mutterings for stage right) For Ms. Granger's excessive baby fat.**

"WHAT? That's that's..."

"Hilarious!"

Hermione rounded on Malfoy with flames in her eyes. "No it most certainly isn't! "It's crude, degrading, and also illegal! It says in the staff guidelines that the deduction or addition of points may not be used for personal gain!"

"How is calling you fat personal gain?"

If Ron hadn't held her down, he was sure Hermione would have jumped on Malfoy.

**Harry & Ron****: Thanks, Hermione!**

"Are you guys serious! Now is when you're supposed to yell at Snape for me!" Yelled Hermione, almost in tears.

"Calm down Hermione, it's just a musical, we never do that in real life!" said Ron, putting an arm around her.

**Snape****: Traditionally, the house with the most points at the end of the year would win the House Cup. However, this year we're doing things a bit differently. Here to introduce it is our new Dark Arts Professor, Professor Quirrell. **

"Oh, so it is like First Ye- WAIT A SECOND!" and then Harry, and everyone else watching burst out laughing at the fact that there was obviously a second actor in the costume.

**Harry's scar starts to hurt. He puts a hand to it and starts yelling as Quirinus Quirrell enters stage left. Because Voldemort is on the back of his head, Voldemort stands and walks back to back with Quirrell while his face is hidden under Quirrell's turban. **  
**Quirinus Quirrell****: (with a slight stutter) The House Cup. A time honored tradition. For centuries-**  
**Malfoy****: Go home, terrorist!**  
**Quirrell****: For centuries, the houses of Hogwarts have competed for the honor and glory of holding the title of House Champion. But where does this competition come from, and what are the roots of the tradition? **  
**_Hermione raises her hand and speaks quickly. _**  
**Hermione****: The House Cup Tournament began with the first generation of Hogwarts students.**

"OK, that time even I knew that was a rhetorical question!"

Everyone was quick to nod their heads at the still angry witch.

**Quirrell****: That was a rhetorical question.**

**Dumbledore****: Granger, quit interrupting. Twenty points from Gryffindor.**

"WHAT? 20 points?" yelled all the Gryffindors in shock. Malfoy laughed at how obvious it was that none of the professors seemed to like Hermione.

**Harry & Ron****: Thanks, Hermione!**

Hermione glared at her two friends, but didn't say anything.

**Quirrell****: As I was saying, when the Tournament first originated it was one of a completely different sort. One champion from each of the four houses would compete in a series of dangerous tasks. The winner would not only win the Cup, they would also win eternal glory.**

"Kind of like the Triwizard tournament!" said Harry.  
**Hermione: Kind of like the Triwizard Tournament!**

Everyone but Harry laughed

**Quirrell****: Yes, sort of like the Triwizard tounament, except no, not like that at all. There are four houses. How could it be the Triwizard Tournament with four teams?**  
**Hermione****: Well, Professor, if I remember correctly, the House Cup Tournament was disbanded after one semester when one student was killed during the first task.**  
**Quirrell****: Yes, it is very dangerous, but the rewards far outweigh the risks.**

"What? that's just... insane!" said Hermione, obviously annoyed that no one was listening to her character.

**Hermione****: I don't think you heard me! I just said somebody died!**  
**Dumbledore****: Hermione Granger, shut your ungodly lopsided mouth and quit interrupting! Twenty more points!**  
**Harry & Ron****: Thanks, Hermione!**

"I'm sorry, but this is just awful! I don't know if I want to watch!"

"You have to Hermione, remember the timelock? Besides, just ignore it, you know we don't think that."

**Dumbledore: God! For the cleverest witch of your age you really can be a dumbass sometimes. (Other students laugh at her) Ten points to Dumbledore!**

Hermione sighed, but didn't make a comment.

**Quirrell****: Yes, well, it will be very dangerous, but the winner will be remembered as a hero for ages to come. And, as the Professor of Defense against the Dark Arts, I believe that this practical application is exactly what the curriculum needs to- **  
**_Voldemort sneezes under Quirrell's turban. _**

" Did Voldemort just sneeze?" asked Harry.

Everyone started laughing at this, picturing a sneezing Voldemort.

****  
**Dumbledore****: Professor, did your turban just sneeze?**  
**Quirrell****: What? No. (he starts to back off stage right)**  
**Dumbledore****: I could have sworn I just heard a sneeze coming from your direction, but your mouth wasn't moving.**  
**Quirrell****: No, no, that was simply a fart. I must be going. (Voldemort continues to sneeze, and Harry's scar starts to hurt again as Quirrellmort gets near him.) I simply farted once more. **

Everyone continued laughing, and the video paused to let them catch their breaths.

"Those must be some brave muggles, to insult Voldemort like that!"

"Don't you remember Ron? In their world Voldemort's just a fictional character."

"Weird."

**_Quirrellmort exits. _**  
**Dumbledore****: Now, with the newly resurrected House Cup, a champion from each of the four houses will be selected to compete! So, Snape, would you do us the honors, please? **  
**_Snape come on with The Cup. _**  
**Snape****: Yes, Headmaster. First from the Ravenclaw house (he pulls out a piece of paper), Ms. Cho Chang,**

"Figures."

**Cho****: Oh my god I've won! I can't believe they called me!**  
**Snape****: Next, from Hufflepuff, (pulls out another) Mr. Cedric Diggory.**

"Oh, this is going to end like the Triwizard tournament did, isn't it?"

Everyone but Malfoy gave Harry a sympathetic look.

**Cedric****: (stands up) Well, I don't FIND this surprising at all!**

"ANOTHER find joke?"

**Cho****: Perfect! **  
**Snape****: Next, from the Slytherin house, (pull out another) Draco Malfoy!**

"Wait, I'm in it?"

"Who did you expect to be the Slytherin champion?"

**Malfoy****: (stands up) Ha! Oh, I finally beat you, didn't I, Potter! (he struts over to Harry) What do you think of that, huh? (he tries to reach over to get in Harry's face but ends up collapsing onto the first row of Gryffindors and falling on the floor) I'm the champion this time!**  
**Dumbledore****: Draco, will you sit down, you little shit! Champion's just a title.**

"That was so pathetic Draco, it was hilarious. "

"You're so short you couldn't even reach Harry!"

**Snape****: And finally, from the Gryffindor house, (pulls out a paper) oh my! Well, isn't this curious! The one person in all of Hogwarts whom I bear no grudge against is suddenly in a tournament where he may very well lose his life.**  
**Neville****: (stands up) It's me. I'd like to apologize right now to my fellow Gryffindors right now for losing-**

"Seriously Nevulle? Of course it's Harry!"

**Snape****: Sit down, you inarticulate bumble! It's Harry Potter!**

"Of course."

**Dumbledore****: Well, here you are, folks, the four Hogwarts champions. Now, I want all of you to start preparing immediately, because the first task is in two months and it could be anything. So let's get to it! **  
**_Everybody except Harry, Ron and Hermione starts to leave cheering "Cho Chang! Cho Chang!" malfoy tries to start the same thing with his name, but fails. Harry and Ron remain sitting while Hermione _****paces. **

Well, that certainly gave us some information, and it was actually really funny!"

Hermione glared at Harry

"Well, most parts of it were."

**There you go, Part III is done! Please leave a review :)**


	5. Act I Part IV

**Next chapter! Again, I only got one review on that chapter, so tell you guys what, If this chapter gets five (or more) reviews, I'll post two more chapters tomorrow! But either way, thank you to the person who took the time to review and everyone else who has followed and favourited this story! You're all awesome!**

**Act I Part IV**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Starkid or Harry Potter

** Harry: I don't know, man. Cedric Diggory. He's pretty awesome. NOT! He sucks! I'm totally gonna win! **  
**_Harry and Ron high-five. _**

Harry frowned at his character insulting Cedric. Hermione looked over at him and said " Remember Harry, in the play you still don't know that Cedric is going to die."

"Yes, but whoever is writing it did..."

"Remember, to them, Cedric's just a fictional character, they don't think anyone actually died!"

**Hermione****: I don't know, Harry…**  
**Ron****: Oh my god, Hermione. Shut up. Why do you have to rain on everybody's parade?**

"I don't do that!"

"Of course you don't." agreed Ron quickly.

**Hermione****: Because, Ron, this is dangerous!**  
**Harry****: Dangerous? Come one, Hermione, how dangerous can it be? Especially for me.**

Harry looked at his character in shock. " How stupid can I be?"

**Hermione****: You're not invincible, Harry. Someone DIED in this tournament.**  
**Harry****: Uh, I'm the Boy that LIVED, not DIED. What's the worst that could happen?**

"You should use that Harry!"

"Harry would never say that, would you?" asked Hermione glaring at Harry.

"No, probably not, but is funny!"

**Hermione****: And I don't know about that Quirrell character**  
**Harry****: Come on, think about it. Professor Quirrell is a professor, and who hires professors?**  
**Harry & Ron: ****Dumbledore.**  
**Harry****: ...who's the smartest, most awesome, practical, most beautiful wizard in the whole school. **

Everyone looked at Harry and Ron weirdly while the two boys blushed

**Why would he possibly hire someone who's trying to hurt me? You know what Hermione, just forget about all of that okay? Let it go.**

"Figures Hermione is the only one of us smart enough to actually see the danger."

Hermione smiled at the compliment

**Ron****: I'll sabotage all the other champions so you win by default.**

"Where was this support in the real Triwizard Tournament?"

Ron looked down sheepishly while Hermione started a tirade about how illegal and unfair it would be to sabotage the champions.

**Hermione****: Alright… I guess I can check out the whole library on notes. **  
**Harry****: Alright. You guys are awesome. **  
**_Malfoy, Crab, and Goyle enter. Goyle is carrying Malfoy. _**

"Didn't think you could look more stupid, guess I was wrong!" teased Ron

"At least I have followers so loyal to me that they will carry me around and-" Malfoy realised how stupid that sounded and looked down annoyed.

**Malfoy****: Well. Isn't this touching?**

**Ron****: Oh my God just butt out, Malfoy.**  
**_  
Goyle tries to put Malfoy down but Malfoy falls onto the floor. He will continue to roll around on the  
floor for awhile to make it seem like he did this on purpose._**  
**Malfoy****: Goyle and I have a bet, you know. He says you won't last five minutes in this tournament. I**  
**disagree. I say you wouldn't last five minutes at Pigfarts!**

"Pigfarts again, what is Pigfarts?"

"If you shut up Potter, musical me will probably tell you."

**Harry****: What? Alright, Malfoy, what is Pigfarts?**

**Malfoy****: Oh! Never heard of it? Ha! Figures. Famous Potter doesn't even know about Pigfarts!**

"No one in this room knows about Pigfarts!"

**Harry****: Malfoy, don't act like you don't want to talk about it. This is like the ninth time you've mentioned Pigfarts. What is Pigfarts?**  
**_  
Malfoy is standing by now._**

**Malfoy****: Pigfarts is only the greatest wizarding school in the galaxy. It's where I'm being transferred next year.**

Everyone just looked confused until Hermione finally got it.

"Oh, I see! Pigfarts is like a spoof of Hogwarts! Pig/Hog Farts/Warts"

This got laughs from everyone and Harry said "I'd never appreciated what a weird name our school had!"

**Hermione****: Malfoy, I've never heard of that.**

Everyone mock gasped but stopped when Hermione glared at them.

**Malfoy****: That's because Pigfarts… is on Mars!**

Everyone, including Draco (who seemed to be getting more comfortable in the presence of the Gryffindors) burst out laughing at the absurdity of a wizarding school on Mars.

**Harry****: Alright, you know what? We're trying to have a conversation here so if you could just leave us**  
**alone-**

**Malfoy****: Oh, no. I'm not even here.**

**Harry****: (in a hushed tone) Okay, so, I think we can find out what the first task is if we ask Dumbledore-**

**Malfoy****: Dumbledore? Pff! What an old coot! He's nothing like Rumbleroar!**

**Goyle****: RUMBLEROAR!**

**Harry****: Anyways, as I was saying-**

**Malfoy****: Rumbleroar's the headmaster at Pigfarts. He's a lion, who can talk.**

Just as the laughter was dying down, this line caused the students to all start up again.

**Harry****: Malfoy, if you don't mind, we're trying to have a conversation here so- wait what are you even**  
**doing here? Get outta here.**

**Malfoy****: I can't help it if we can hear everything you say. We're the only ones in here.**

**Harry****: Come on, Malfoy; just get out of here, please?**

**Malfoy****: Where are we supposed to go?**

**Harry****: Uh, I don't know, uh, Pigfarts.**

**Malfoy****: Oh ha. Oh, now you're just being cute. I can't go to Pigfarts. IT'S ON MARS. You need a rocket**  
**ship. (Struts over to Harry) Do you have a rocket ship, Potter? I bet you do. (He crawls between where**  
**Harry and Ron are sitting and falls to the floor again) You know not all of us inherited enough money to buy out NASA when our parents died!**

Harry's face darkened a little

**Look at this! Look at this! It's Rocketship Potter. Starkid Potter. Moonshoes Potter. Traversing the galaxy for intergalactic travels to Pigfarts! (He gets up)**

**Harry****: Alright, that's it. This is the most misguided way to try and make me feel jealous. I don't care if**  
**you make fun of me, (he gets up towards Malfoy) but if you bring my parents into this it's a whole other**  
**story.**

"Good job me, put the git in his place!"

**Malfoy****: (runs and hides behind stage left bench) Whoa! Not so fast, Potter! Oh crap! Goyle!**

**_Goyle advances on Harry, arms raised. Harry and Ron cower around the bench while Hermione remains standing._**

Hermione looks at her two friends, "Seriously you two?"

"Hey, I'm not afraid of that big lump in real life, but that actor is pretty scary looking!"

Ron's remark was met with eye rolls by all.

**Goyle****: BACK OFF, NERD!**

**Malfoy****: (hanging off the bottom of the bench) Not so tough are you now, Potter! Maybe you should**  
**hang out with someone better than that lollygagging ginger and his stupid mudblood girlfriend!**

**Hermione****: Oh, that is it, Malfoy! (She makes a motion with her wand) Jelly-legs jinx!**

"That's not a real spell!" Hermione all most cried at her characters bad form.

**Malfoy****: Oh, come on!**

**Goyle****: Hey, no fair! Our legs are jelly!**

**_Hermione runs over and grabs Malfoy by the necktie while Crab and Goyle fall on their backs with their legs wobbling._**

**Hermione****: Now, take it back, Malfoy!**

**Malfoy****: Take what back?**

**Hermione****: Take back what you said about your stupid made-up space school!**

**Ron****: And all that stuff about Hermione being my girlfriend. That's not even a little bit true.**

Ron and Hermione avoided eye contact with each other, and Harry and Ginny both smiled knowingly at each other. They were both just waiting for Ron and Hermione to finally admit that they liked each other.

**Hermione****: And say you're sorry for calling me a 'you-know-what'!**

**Malfoy****: Alright! I'm sorry!**

**Hermione****: And you promise you'll never do it again?**

**Malfoy****: I promise!**

**Hermione****: Alright! (She drops him) Now next time we tell you to leave us alone you better do it! Come on, Harry. Ron. Let's get out of here.**

**Harry****: Wow. Thanks, Hermione.**

**Hermione****: Yeah (she points at Crab and Goyle with her wand) Unjellyfy!**

"That's not a real spell either!"

**_The jinx on Crab and Goyle is broken. Harry, Ron and Hermione leave.  
_****Ron****: (As they walk off) Wow. That was like the most ****_badas_****s thing I've ever seen! Too bad no one was**  
**here to see it though. It was like an outburst of pent up aggression you were just like 'Arrr! I'm gonna….**

**Crab and Goyle get up.**

**Goyle: Wow. That sucked royal hippogriff! We got beat by a girl! Who is a nerd!**

"You showed those to idiots!"

"Yah, with no help from you Ron!"

**Malfoy: I meant what I said you know. Pigfarts is real. (He puts his hand to his nose to check for blood)**  
**Am I- Am I bleeding? Goyle.**

**Goyle runs over close to Malfoy's face.**

**Goyle: *Sniffs* No. (He gets up)**

"You're such a baby Malfoy."

**Malfoy: (quietly) I thought maybe... maybe just a little bit… (Normally) Wow. I've never been pushed**  
**down like that by a girl… Maybe I shouldn't call her a mud-… whatever. (He gets up)**

"Wow, who'd have thought Hermione's tirades actually affected what people think?" joked Ron, who then had to duck the pillow Hermione had thrown at him.

**Goyle: (to Crab) I can't believe I couldn't figure out the counter-curse was just unjellyfy!**

**Crab shakes his head in disapproval.**

**Malfoy: Right. Well, I'm not surprised. Come on. Let's go watch Wizards of Waverly Place! Lights up. **  
_**Malfoy exits with Crabbe and Goyle.**_

Hermione laughed at the joke, and then explained to the others what Wizards of Waverly Place was.

Malfoy buried his head in his pillow, and only brought it up when he heard the next part starting up on the television.


	6. Act I Part V

**You guys are amazing! Just amazing! I got five reviews and you guys were all so nice! I want to thank everyone who followed favourited and reviewed! As a special treat you guys get two chapters today for your support! The next one will be up sometime today. Enjoy part five!**

**Act I Part V**

**_Quirrellmort enters. The stage is set with a block-bench and a chair with robes hung over the top.  
Quirrell: (talking to the audience) Fools! They're all fools. They think they're safe. They think they're back for another fun year of learning shenanigans at Hogwarts. Little do they know the danger that's lurking right under their noses. Or, should I say, on the back of their heads… _**

**_Quirrell rotates to put his back to the audience. He pulls off the turban to reveal Voldemort, who laughs evilly, then coughs. Quirrell puts his turban on the chair. _**

"THAT's Voldemort?"

"He's actually nit that scary in this!"

"Well it is a play Harry, makeup can only go so far."

"The actor's actually kind if hot..."

"GINNY!" Said everyone in horror.

"I didn't say the dark lord was hot, just the actor!"

Voldemort**: Ugh! I can't breathe in that damn turban!**

"What's with his voice?"

"I don't know, that's not how he sounds in real life at all."

"Look, can we PLEASE stop talking about you-know-who?" Everyone turned around to find a very pale Malfoy.

"Is...is everything ok Malfoy?" asked Hermione

"Just shut up Mudblood!"

"Don't you call her that, just forget about the ferret Hermione." said Ron, casually putting an arm on her shoulder.

Quirrell**: I'm sorry my Lord. It's a necessary precaution. For if they knew that you lived- that when Harry Potter destroyed you, your soul lived on-**  
Voldemort:** Yes! That when my body was destroyed I was forced to live in the Forbidden Forest, eating bugs, and mushrooms, and, ugh! Unicorn blood!**  
Quirrell:** Until I found you and let you attach yourself to my soul.**

Voldemort:** Yes. Nobody must know any of that.**

**"**So why'd they just tell the audience?"

"Ron remember, this is a play, the characters don't know that people are watching!"

** Now, Quirrell! Get me some water! **  
_**Quirrell bends over and grabs a bottle of water. **_  
Voldemort**: Now Quirrell! Pour it in my mouth! **

"Haha, I'd never thought of that. Quirrel must have had to feed Voldemort everything he ate!"

_**Quirrell uncaps the bottle and speaks while pouring the water in his mouth. **_  
Quirrell:** Your plan to infiltrate Hogwarts on the back of my head is going swimmingly, my liege!**  
Voldemort:** Yes, yes, I'm done with the water! We must not have any more foul-ups like tonight in the Great Hall!**

"But, that was Voldemort's fault!"

"Ron, do you think anyone would actually tell Voldemort that?"

Quirrell**: I'm sorry, my Lord, you sneezed!**

Ron gave a smug smile to Hermione.

Voldemort:** I know that... Get me some Nasonex, you swine! **  
_**Quirrell shoots some Nasonex into Voldemort's nose, then some into his own. **_  
Voldemort:** Wash that turban! It tickles my nose.**  
Quirrell:** Yes my Dark King-**  
Voldemort**: Okay, just... relax with the Dark Kings, ok? I watch you wipe your butt daily. **

"Ewwww"

"OK, it must have been SOOOO awkward having Voldemort on the back of your head, like think of all the things he'd see you do?"

"How would they sleep?"

"I guess you could say they slept together." laughed Ron.

"RON!"

**You can call me Voldemort. We're there. We've reached that point.**  
Quirrell:** Yes, yes, my… Voldemort.**  
Voldemort:** Mmm. Now, Quirrell… Get us ready for bed. **

"Again, TOLD YOU SO!" teased Ron

"Amazing Ron, these muggles are actually as stupid as you."

"No, you just don't like being wrong."

_**Quirrell begins getting ready for bed. **_  
Voldemort:** We must be well rested if we wish to kill Potter. Tonight, in the Great Hall, he was so close! I could have touched him! **  
_**Quirrell uses some mouthwash. **_  
Voldemort:** Revenge is at my fingertips, Quirrell. I can taste it! It tastes like… cool mint.**  
Quirrell**: That's our Listerine, Voldemort.**  
Voldemort**: Yes. Excellent. (They walk over to the block-bench) Well, goodnight Quirrell. **  
_**Quirrell bends backwards, and Voldemort leans forward so they are laying down on the block-bench. **_

"Yes, I can see how sleeping might be a problem."

"Wouldn't it be funny if Voldemort died by being suffocated by a sleeping Quirrel?"

"You'd call the death of the Dark Lord funny?"

"No one asked you Malfoy."

Voldemort**: (pause) Okay, okay, I can't do this. You've got to roll over. I can't sleep on my tummy.**

"But technically it was only Voldemort's face on Quirrel, he wouldn't have a tummy!"

"Do you have to be such a nitpicker Hermione?"

Quirrell**: I'm sorry, but I always sleep on my back! I have back problems. It's the only way I'm comfortable.**  
Voldemort**: You roll over right now or I'll… I'LL EAT YOU PILLOW! **

"Wow, great job at scaring him into following you!"

"Yah, musical Voldemort is actually kind of pathetic!"

**(Quirrell begins to roll over) You'll be having a dream you're eating a giant marshmallow, but really you'll wake up and find your favorite goose feather pillow is missing!**  
Quirrell**: Fine! We'll compromise. We'll sleep on our sides.**  
Voldemort**: Ok. I guess I can do this.**  
Quirrell**: Now, goodnight!**  
Voldemort**: Goodnight, Quirrell. (pause) Hey, Quirrell. How long has those robes been on that chair?**  
Quirrell**: I think they're from last night. I just put them there for now.**  
Voldemort**: Well are you planning on putting them in a hamper? What's your plan for these?**

"OK, this is taking the pathetic Voldemort to a new level!"

"Just stop speaking You-Know-Who's name in vain!" said Malfoy, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Look Malfoy, we all know your father's a Deatheater, don't even try to deny it, but you don't need to be so worried about him.

Quirrell**: I figured I'd just leave them there for now and put them away in the morning,okay?**  
Voldemort**: A- No! No, that's not okay! I can't go to sleep knowing that there are dirty clothes on that chair! The chair's is going to start smelling like dirty clothes!**  
**Quirrell: I promise I'll put them away in the morning!**  
Voldemort**: You put them away RIGHT NOW! I command you to get up and… fold them, at least! Make it into a neat pile! **  
_**They both sit up. **_  
Quirrell**: Listen, if we're going to be in this situation for a while, we're going to have tolearn to live with each other. Now, I've been single for all of my life,**

**"**I don't like what they're suggesting..."

"What's wrong harry, it's hilarious!"

** and I have somehabits, and sometimes I leave dirty laundry around!**  
Voldemort**: Well I believe everything has its place! Muggles have their place, mudbloods **

Everyone but Malfoy cringed.

**have their place, and so do your clothes! Namely, a dresser! **  
_**They stand up. **_

**Quirrell: Well, aren't we an odd couple? **

"Oh god, they're going to sing!"

"I wonder what Voldemort will sound like?"

"Do you think he can keep up that voice?"

"5 Galleons says he can't"

"You're on" and Ron and Harry shook hands.

******Song: Different As Can Be **  
**Quirrell: You won't sleep on your tummy,**  
**Voldemort: You won't sleep on your back,**

"Damn it!" grumbled Harry, reaching into his pocket for the money.

"Ha, right again!"

"Oh great job Ron, it looks like you and Voldemort think the same way."

Ron blushed at this.

**Voldemort & Quirrell:We're quite a kooky couple you'll agree.**  
**Quirrell: We share some hands and fingers,**  
**Voldemort: and yet the feeling lingers.**

"If anything, the voice is stronger when he sings!"

"Just shut up." said Harry, still annoyed at losing the bet.

**Voldemort & Quirrell: We're just about as different as anyone could be!**  
**Voldemort: You like plotting a garden, and I like plotting to kill.**  
**Quirrell : you think that you should rule the world, I think books are a thrill!**  
**Sipping tea by the fires swell**  
**Voldemort: Pushing people in is fun as well**  
**I like folding all my ties**  
**Quirrell: And you have no friends, hey that's a surprise**

"Quirrel is really brave in this."

"I know, if this was real life, he would be tortured and dead faster than you can say "Voldemort"."

**Voldemort & Quirrell: guess it's plain to see**  
**when you look at you and me**  
**were different**  
**different**  
**as can be **  
_**Quirrell goes over to fold the robes. **_  
**Voldemort: You're a sissy, a twat a girl! I'm the darkest of lords!**  
**Quirrell: I'm the brightest professor here, I've won several awards!**  
**Voldemort: My new world is about to unfold**  
**Quirrell: You got beat by a two year old**

"I was actually 1 and 4 months."

**Voldemort: I'll kill him this time, through and through**  
**Quirrell: Or you might just give him another tattoo**  
**Voldemort & Quirrell: You really must agree**  
**when you look at you and me**  
**were different, different**  
**as can- **  
_**Voldemort faces the audience as Quirrell make menacing arm motions. **_

"WANTED, someone to host Voldemort's soul and make menacing arm motions for him."

Everyone except Malfoy laughed at Harry's joke.

**Voldemort: I'll rise again and Ill rule the world,**  
**But you must help me renew.**  
**For when our plan succeeds-**  
**Quirrell: Prevails!**  
**Voldemort: part of that world goes to you. **  
_**They continue their rotating. **_  
**Quirrell: When I rule the world I'll plant flowers.**  
**Voldemort :When I rule the world I'll have… snakes! And goblins, and werewolves, and**  
**giants, and thestrals, a fleet of dementors, and all my Death Eaters!**  
**Quirrell: (at the same time)And Jane Austin novels!**  
**Voldemort & Quirrell:When I rule the world! Hahahaha! **

**"**Well, that was intense!"

"When I got up this morning, I did not expect that I'd be watching Voldemort sing!"

"Well, let's watch the next part!"

**There you go, the next chapter should be up soon!**


	7. Act I Part VI

**Next chapter! This one's super long so enjoy! Please review!**

**Act I Part VI**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Starkid or Harry Potter

**Hermione: Harry, don't you think you should be trying to figure out what the first task is? You could actually die if you're not ready.**

"Wow, like I hadn't noticed."

**Harry: What? Come on. I mean, can't you just do it for me? Can't you just prepare all my stuff for me? I mean, what are you doing now?**

"Seriously Harry? You don't even want to worry about the task? You could die!"

"It's not me Ginny, it's musical Harry."

"Well musical Harry isn't going to con me into doing all the work for him!"

**Hermione: I'm writing your potions essay! **

Ron burst out laughing.

"Harry! How many times have I told you that I won't do your work for you! And now you interrupt me while I'm helping you to go and do some other work that you're too lazy to do yourself? Well it's not going to happen, musical me or not, I won't do it."

**Harry: Oh... Well, do that first, 'cause that's due tomorrow. But after that, can you prepare for the first task, please?**  
**Hermione: Alright.**

"What kind of a pushover are you! That girl is nothing like me!"

"Well, maybe your too mean to do our homework for us," Ron jumped away from Hermione before continuing "But this version of you shares a lot of traits with you Hermione.

"No she doesn't! She's made out to be an annoying nerdy bossy girl who just follows Harry around and does whatever he tells her to do!"

"Look in a mirror Granger!"

"You're all... impossible!" cried Hermione, running away and curling up on another couch. Ginny got up and ran after her comforting her, while harry sat kind of awkwardly on the couch in between a quit Ron and Draco.

"Shit" thought Ron. "I was just joking around, I didn't mean to get her this worked up! Should I go apologize? No, Draco would laugh at me, oh what do I care about him?" He looked over at the silently crying Hermione and noticed that Harry was now also on the couch with her. "Great, now if i go I'll just look like I'm following Harry! Well, I'm not staying here with Draco..." and Ron got up and joined the group of friends around Hermione

"It's OK, really I'm fine. I just over reacted..." Hermione was saying as Ron entered the group. "Let's just keep watching." Everyone was walking back to the couch, and just before Hermione got up Ron made a split second decision and sat down beside her, casually grabbing her hand with his in a comforting way. She looked up at him in surprise before giving Ron a nervous smile and settling down to watch the play.

**Harry: Thank you. You are the best (he taps her on the nose). You got it. Thanks, Hermione. **  
**_Hermione turns around on the bench. Ginny enters, doing the magic pencil trick with her wand. _**

"Oh, I'm in it again" Said Ginny. "Please don't say anything stupid!" She thought to herself.

**Harry: Hey, Ginny, come here.**  
**Ginny: Hey, Harry Potter. **  
**_She sits down on the bench._**  
**Harry: Listen, I want to play this song I've been working on. You see, I met this girl that I really, really like and I want to let her know she's special. So I just want to know what you think of it. Just for the purposes of now, because I'm still working out the lyrics, I'm going to put your name where her name should be, ****but I don't think it's really gonna work out, because- Well, let me just show you. **

**_Song: Ginny_**

**_You're tall and fun and pretty_**  
**_You're really, really skinny_**  
**_Ginny_**

_"_But...but it does work with my name!" said Ginny.

"I think it's supposed to be a joke, kind of how the song is meant for someone else, but works better with you!"

"But that would mean..., you two, you're not _together_, are you?" Asked Ron, going pale.

"Us? Umm... no..." said Harry turning red.

"Well at least he didn't react with horror" thought Ginny.

****  
**_I'm the Mickey to your Minnie_**  
**_You're hotter than Laura Linney _**  
**_Ginny _**  
**_Wanna take you to the city_**  
**_Gonna take you out to diney_**  
**_Ginny _**  
**_You're cuter than a guinea pig_**  
**_Wanna take you up to Winnipeg_**  
**_That's in Canada! _**  
**_Ginny Ginny Ginny Ginny-_**  
**You know what? This doesn't work with you name. At all. But how does that make you feel, emotionally?**  
**Ginny: Wow. Wowy. Harry Potter!**

"Oh no... please tell me I don't..."

**Harry: Don't you think it could, I dunno, make a girl fall in love with me?**  
**Ginny: I think it already has.**

"Oh I do! Not that I don't Harry, but I ummm..." Ginny and Harry both looked awkwardly at each other.

Harry looked down, took a deep breath before facing Ginny and giving her the lightest kiss on the lips. He looked up, a worried expression on his face. Ginny just gave him a huge grin before pulling him in for a more passionate kiss.

"WOAH! Hold on a second, you two... you can't... can't..."

"Oh for god's sake shut up Ron, give them their moment."

"But... she's my sister! Harry can't."

"I'd be quiet if I were you Weasley, or else I think your sister's gonna hex you when she finally breaks away from Potter."

Ron looked down in defeat before sighing and giving Ginny a quick look when she and Harry stopped kissing.

"Can we get back to the play now?"

"What part were we at?" Asked Harry dazedly.

"I was just telling you I loved you." replied Ginny.

"Eugggh." moaned Ron.

**Harry: Awesome!, because it's for Cho Chang!**  
**Ginny: Oh. Yeah. She's beautiful.**  
**Harry: What, are you nuts? Beautiful? More like super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot! She'sthe hottest girl I've ever met. She's far more attractive, far more appealing, far more interesting than any girl that I know, in my immediate group of friends. **

"Not true!" said Harry quickly, before Hermione and Ginny had time to say anything.

**_Ron enters stage left. He jumps over the block and over to Ginny. _**  
**Ron: (motioning to Ginny to scoot over) Move! Move! Move! Move! Move! **  
**Ginny scoots over and Ron sits down. **  
**Ron: Hey! Harry! What's up? So I was just offstage hanging out with Hagrid,**

"He...he just said offstage! That's not allowed!"

"I've told you Ron, it's a parody, and besides they've already broken the fourth wall once."

"I still don't know what that is..."

** and I saw this delivery wizard bringing giant cages into the dungeon. I don't know what that's for-**  
**Hermione: Giant cages? I bet whatever's in those cages has something to do with thefirst task! Harry, we have to find out what it is!**  
**Harry: Hey, hey. Guys. Chill, I'm busy. **

"It's like you WANT to die Harry!"

**_Harry continues to play. Hermione walks over and grabs Harry guitar. _**  
**Ron: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!**  
**Ginny: No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!**  
**Hermione: Guys! Now, listen! This could be a matter of life and death!**

"You tell us Hermione, none of us need to sort out our priorities."

Harry and Ron gave each other a smile at Harry's joke. Harry was just glad Ron wasn't angry at him.

**Ron: Well it doesn't matter, because it's after hours, okay, and we can't leave Gryffindor House, and we'll probably get in trouble if we do, and even if we do, Shlongbottom over there will probably tell on us**  
**Hermione: Neville won't tell.**  
**Neville: (stops sniffing plant) Oh yes I certainly will!**

"Wow Neville."

**Ron: What are we going to do?**  
**Hermione: It's simple guys! The cloak!**

"Not one of us except Hermione was smart enough to think of the cloak?"

"What cloak?"

"Oh, you'll find out..."

**Ron: Of course! **  
**_They all stand up. _**  
**Harry & Ron: The cloak!**  
**Ginny: Wait, what cloak-**  
**Ron: SHUT UP! (He claps in her face) **  
**_Neville starts to leave. _**  
**Harry: You see, (Explaining to Ginny, he starts to open the trunk) during my first year at Hogwarts I got a present left to me –Oh, bye Neville- by my dad during my first year at Hogwarts and it was left to me by my dad. The dad that's dead. My father's dead. I have a dead father. And now we solve mysteries and stuff with my handy, dandy Invisibility Cloak! (he pulls out his thin, bright red, sparkly Invisibility Cloak.)**

"You have an invisibility cloak Potter! I should tell Dumbledore!"

"Dumbledore's the one that gave it to me Malfoy!"

"Everyone laughed at Malfoy's red face."

**Ginny: Oh! Wowy, Harry Potter! Haha! A real Invisibility Cloak! Oo! Oo! Oo! Oo! Do you know what I would do if I had an Invisibility Cloak?**  
**Harry: I'd kick wiener dogs.**

"That's animal abuse Harry!"

**Ron: And I would pretend to be a ghost and I would people. **

**Hermione: I'd use it to avoid ever having to face my reflection in the mirror. **

"What, I don't think like that!"

"Don't worry Hermione we know." Said Ron.

**Ginny: Well, actually, I was going to say that I'd use it to fake my own death and watch people cry at the funeral! **

"Hermione, you have to admit, that's meaner than kicking dogs!"

"Yes, that would be awful."

**Harry: Well, anyways, let's get out of here. **  
**_Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny start to leave. Ron turns around to stop Ginny. Hermione watches them. _**  
**Ron: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where do you think you're going?**  
**Ginny: Um, with you guys?**  
**Ron: No way! No kid sisters allowed, okay? **

"I'm not a kid!"

"Of course you're not!" said Harry, hesitantly giving her a kiss. he was new to this whole girlfriend thing.

**(He claps in her face) Besides, there's only enough room under this cloak for two people, so… (Hermione looks crestfallen) **

"You can't leave me behind!"

"We wouldn't..."

**C'mon, Hermione, c'mon. **

"Oh, it was just Ron's pathetic math skills."

**_Hermione brightens and hands Ginny Harry's guitar. _**  
**Song: Harry**  
**Throughout the song, Ginny will pretend the guitar is Harry.**

"Oh, I'm not going to sing..."

**The way his hair falls in his eyes**  
**makes me wonder if he'll**  
**ever see through my disguise**  
**and I'm under his spell **

"No, I am not all right with this!" Said Ron.

Harry looked kind of awkward, but pleased.

**Everything is falling, and I don't know where to land.**  
**Everyone knows who he is, but they don't know who I am **  
**Harry, Harry,**  
**Why can't you see**  
**what you're doing to me **  
**I've seen you conquer certain death**  
**and even when you're just standing there you take away my breath**  
**and maybe someday you'll hear my song**  
**and understand that all along**  
**there's something more that I'm trying to say**  
**when I say **  
**Harry, Harry, Harry**  
**Why can't you see**  
**what you're doing to me**

It's getting pretty late, I'm hungry! Said Ron.

"While all the house elves are also frozen, so you're out of luck Weasley!"

"Noooooooooooooooo"

"Oh, shut up Ron, we can always cook for ourselves."


	8. Act i Part VII

**Next chapter! Enjoy, and please leave a review!**

**Act I Part VII**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or Starkid.

**Quirrel: Master, master, the shipments for the first task of the tournament has arrived.**

**Voldemort: Yes I know, Quirrel, I hear everything you hear.**

Everyone giggled at this.

**Quirrel: Isn't it wonderful, master? We've made sure that Harry Potter's name was drawn from the cup and soon he will be ours!**

**Voldemort: Yes! Its reall happening, isn't it quirrel? You know, with the plan going so well, I feel like maybe we should celebrate. What do you say Quirrel? How about we go out? I hear its Karaoke night down at the Hog's head.**

"Oh god, no."

" Are they, flirting?"

"They're kind of cute together..."

"Ginny!"

**Quirrel: Well I don't know, I have all these papers to grade and I've been giving so much attention to this revenge plan that I'm really behind.**

**Voldemort: Oh just give them all B-s and be done with it.**

"He BETTER not have!" and "I wish he had..." said Hermione and Ron at the same time.

"RON! That is the most unfair thing I've ever heard! Just because your low marks would go up a bit, is no reason to have people who have worked hard lose the perfects they deserve!"

"Just kidding Hermione, besides, did you ever get a B- (or an acceptable I suppose...) with Quirrel?"

"Well no..."

"See? There's no problem."

**Quirrel: Now thats evil.**

**Voldemort: Aahh, thats the spirit Quirrel. Put on a fresh pair of wizard shorts and grab your tunic. Quirrel, we are gonna get you laid!**

"Ewww, mental images I don't need." said Ginny

'Agreed." replied everyone.

**(Scene changes to Harry and his friends under the invisibility cloak)**

"We look like complete idiots!" said Harry

"Well what did you expect muggles to use, a real invisibility cloak?"

"Well they could have used something cooler than a red sparkly blanket..." mumbled Ron.

**Ron: Ah, wow, uh, this cloak isn't as big as it used to be. **

**Hermione: Shh... someone's coming.**

**(Malfoy and his cronies enter.)**

"I'll never get over you being a girl..." laughed Ron.

**Malfoy: Did you just hear something?**

**Goyle: No, only quiet. Maybe, one raindrop. **

**Malfoy: No matter. Who do you think is the ugliest girl in school?**

**Goyle: Uh, buckbeak for sure.**

"Leave it to Goyle to be too stupid to know what a girl is."

"That's my friend you're talking about Weasley!"

"Oh, is that what you call your thugs?"

**Malfoy: Crabbe?**

**Crabbe: Uh, Winky the house elf.**

Hermione looked like she was about to start talking but Ron spoke before she could.

"Don't get started about SPEW! Even you have to admit Winky is butt ugly."

Hermione glared at Ron, but didn't say anything.

**Malfoy: Obscure! (nods) Do you know who I think is the ugliest girl in school? That Hermione Granger. **

Everyone turned around to glare at Malfoy.

"Oh, don't bother you guys." Said Hermione. "Who did you think he was going to say?"

**Do you know what I'd giver her on a scale of 1-10? 1 would be ugliest and 10 would be prettiest. I'd give her, an 8. **

"WHAT?" said everyone in surprise, Malfoy turning red.

"That insult didn't work out did it?" Laughed Ginny

"Hey, I don't want ferret head over there walking around talking about how pretty Hermione is!"

"Why not Ron?" Asked Hermione?

"Uhhhh..." I can't tell her I like her... She would never like me back, would she? Maybe I should just kiss her? It worked for Harry... Oh, better just come up with an excuse.

"You don't seriously want him having a crush on you, do you?"

"Don't even talk about me having a crush on that mudblood, it insults me."

"Just stuff it Malfoy."

**(They stare at him. ) An 8.5. (They stare at him again.) Or a 9.0. No, not over a 9.8! **

"I'd hate to think how pretty you thought the other girls in school were..."

"Look, can we just stop talking about me and Granger!"

Ron was quick to nod his head.

**Because there is always room for improvement. Not everyone's perfect like me. Thats why I'm holding out for a 10.0. Because I'm worth it! Come on, lets go. (They leave.)**

**Ron: Wow, what a bunch of jerks.**

All the Gryffindors nodded their heads.

**Hermione: Alright, forget em, now where did you say that you saw these crates being delivered? **

**Ron: Well I think they were being delivered into the auditorium, so they should be at the end of this hallway and to the left. (They trot around until they see a goat in a cage.)**

"What amazing special effects..." said Ron sarcastically.

"Oh, it was just a joke Ron, grow up."

Ron looked down sadly. So much for trying to impress Hermione with some muggle knowledge.

**Harry: A goat? Oh my god, I have to fight a goat? I don't know if I can do that morally. **

**(Dumbledore and Snape enter.)**

**Snape: And the goats have all been sent for feeding time, Headmaster?**

**Dumbledore: Feeding time! Dragons don't want to be fed! They wanna hunt!**

"Ah, so it is a dragon I have to fight."

"I wonder how they'll do it on stage..." said Hermione

**Harry: Did he just say dragons?**

**Snape: Did you just say 'Did he say dragons?'**

**"**How dumb can you get?" asked Ginny.

**Dumbledore: I must have, because anybody else hiding in this room would have known to shut up, Potter.**

"So you're saying Dumbledore allows you three to sneak out at night?" asked Malfoy.

"No, he doesn't show that extreme favouritism!" Said Hermione

"Well there was the time he told me and you to illegally use the time turner and sneak out to save Sirius..." said Harry

**Snape: Headmaster, do you really think its wise to have children fight dragons?**

**Dumbledore: No Snape! I don't think it's wise to do anything anymore. Why, here I am alive and well today and I could very well be killed by you tomorrow.**

"Why would they use that example?" said Harry

"I hope its not the foreshadowing that they were talking about at the beginning..."

"It can't be Hermione! Dumbledore is alive at this very second, they can't foreshadow stuff that hasn't happened."

Hermione just looked worried.

**Snape: Why thats absurd. **

**Dumbledore: Severus, lets go to bed. Have you ever seen my room? I've got some pretty kickin' posters on my wall.**

All the students shared equally disgusted faces.

**(They leave, about to crash into Harry, but then Dumbledore and Snape raise their arms and they go below.)**

**Snape: Well I am rather tired.**

**(Harry snatches the cloak off as soon as they're gone and Ron takes it and walks away.)**

**Harry: Aww man, I have to fight a dragon? This is bogus! How could I fight a dragon? I'm just a little kid.**

"Weird seeing such an old actor say that..."

"I know, I must be like, what, 12 in this?"

**Hermione: Alright, well, well maybe it won't be that bad Harry.**

**Ron: Maybe, maybe you'll just have to fight Mushu from Milan.**

Everyone looked to Hermione.

"A muggle dragon that's very small, and kind of pathetic."

**Harry: I don't know, maybe.**

**Ron: I don't know, maybe like Puff the magic dragon or something.**

**"**Also a muggle dragon." said Hermione without even looking up from the screen.

**Hermione: Ron, this is serious, okay, Harry could die! Now look, there's still time alright, we...we just need to figure out a plan.**

**Harry: Ok, well, we should probably do that back in the Common Room, where's...wait, where's the invisibility cloak?**

**Ron: Well I threw it over the magical walking chair...oh shoot.**

**"**At least we haven't done anything THAT stupid in our lives." said Ron

"That's not saying much." replied Hermione.

**Harry: Well, that, thats gonna be an issue.**

**Ron: Yep.**

**This chapters done! Sorry its been so long, but schools starting to pick up, updates won't come as often. Please review!**


	9. HELP

**Hello everyone! Sorry I haven't updated lately, but I've been busy with school and not had much free time... Anyways, it's winter break now (YAY) so I decided I'd update the story. While trying to update it, I ran into a little problem. The website I'd been using to get the script only covered part of the play, and I have reached the end. I searched everywhere online, and I couldn't seem to find it ANYWHERE! Now, I could just suck it up, and type up the script myself, but that would mean updates would come a lot less regularly because of all the extra work I'd have to do. Basically, what I'm getting at is that I need some help. If any of you guys know where I can find the full script online (or even just Act I Part VIII would work for now...) PLEASE either tell me through a review or a PM. Or if any of you guys were feeling extremely generous and were willing to help me type up parts of the script, that would be great! So, if any of you can help in any way please PM me or review so I can get this story going again! Thanks :)**


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